Welcome to the...
Fulfilment, Shipping, Refunds and Cancellations Policy
That’s a mouthful, I know, but that’s what I have to call it so that the Powers That Govern our interaction with each other online recognise what it is with their Automatic Machine Minds.
If you shop with us here, or have visited any of our product pages, you’ll be familiar with all of this already, since I’ve made sure to post it on every single item page you look at since the site shop came into being. But now, in order to comply with… whatever it is, Stripe? Card Payments and Internet Safety regulations, for your protection and reading pleasure, here it is in its own dedicated page, easily accessible from the footer of every last normal page on this website! Woohoo!
In my penchant for trying to keep things as “human” as possible, you will recognise it as the:
Buyer's Guide (Shipping, etc.) or...
Everything You Could Possibly Want to Know About Buying From Us
If you have any questions, etc., please email me at email@example.com. You can write in English, Italian, Spanish, French, Portuguese, Chinese or Japanese, and we will try to respond in kind. If you write in other languages, we will write back in English (unless you specify one of the above, other than English). Communication is important, so we always do our best to write back quickly and coherently, within one day, in a way that's easiest for you.
All designs are printed on demand. This helps a lot, because it means that we can have the right products in the right colours ready to roll as quickly as possible.
How It Works
When you place an order, we forward it to our manufacturer, and they confirm it (usually asking 3 times if your address is correct, so please make sure it is!) Once we have the workshop confirmation, we'll let you know straight away; usually same day, or the day after your purchase (if you order very late at night for us here in Sicily). Weekends take a tiny bit longer, since the folks in the workshop need a break sometimes, too.
Once we've had confirmation from the workshop, we’re into "Lead Time". This is the time required for the item to be made. The general rule is 3-7 days, but it is often shorter. Little things like watches, phone cases etc., take 2-3 days. Bags, Backpacks, etc., 3-5 days. For Clothing, 4-6 days. And Shoes (complicated beasties that they are) take 5-7 days.
Once your item(s) is/are ready, they will be shipped directly to you from China. (By default) they’re shipped via EMS & 4PX (China Post). It's FREE, no matter how much you buy (within reason -- contact us for dropshipping/bulk rates if you want to buy a lot). Shipping can take 7-15 days AFTER the lead time (depending on your country's postal service and the time of year), guaranteed delivery, with tracking from the workshop to your door. To be on the safe side, assume 3 weeks to a month after ordering to get your stuff. This is mostly due to customs, so I’m sorry if that seems a bit long.
You can also opt for DHL express delivery (3-5 business days). It’s steeper than free, and may or may not be worth it, depending on how quickly you need to get your stuff. DHL also guarantees tracked delivery to your door.
No matter which shipping option you choose, we will send you the tracking number. Keep it safe! If any problems arise, or if you need help deciphering the tracking information, we'll do our best to keep things on track and get your stuff to you, so please contact us.
For normal orders, customs charges tend to be rare, but if any arise, you will be responsible for them, so be aware of what your country may charge you for the privilege of propping up the world's economy buying things across arbitrary international trade borders imposed by high-falootin' trade agreements. The nations of the free world have to pay for their leaders' over-inflated salaries somehow. Imposing an excise on millions of little people is one way they can do that. (Ahem!) So please be aware that customs and excise can happen, and it will be your responsibility to pay it if it does.
Happy Happy Time
You can contact us at any time, before, during or after buying with us. When you get your stuff, we hope you're really pleased! If items are damaged, or if shipping takes longer than 45 days to arrive (not including lead time), contact us immediately, and we'll do a return-and-refund or get a replacement sent out, whichever you prefer. When your friends admire the things you've bought from us, we want you to be able to sing glowing praises of your entire experience with us.
N.B. (Nota Bene, Achtung, Important)!!
Unfortunately, because of the print-on-demand model, the workshop can't accept returns for wrong sizes or “I changed my mind” or “I wore it once and some dude puked on it” but when stuff gets damaged or lost in transit, we will leap in like a tiger/ninja to set it right.
To minimise disappointment, please take measurements and be sure to request the right size and colour when ordering. A good way (for "wearables") is to measure your most comfortable similar item (lay it on a flat surface to measure it). Compare your measurement with the size chart and pick the best match. Sizes are US standard, and shoe sizes are international (the ones that look like "38" or "45"). Measurements are always more precise than "Small" or "XXXL", which mean vastly different things to different manufacturers. When in doubt, measure.
If, on the other hand, your parcel gets lost in the post or the item(s) sent out to you are the wrong thing (not what you ordered) or have been damaged or broken in transit, we will ask you to send a photo of the damage (to forward to the workshop) and either refund you in full or send out a replacement, whichever you prefer. This will happen as soon as humanly possible (with banking systems undoubtedly slowing stuff down, as they do), and certainly within 30 days of making an agreement between you and us about how to proceed. In the case of missing parcels, we ask that you wait at least 40 days from from the date you are notified (by email) that your parcel has been shipped (it’s the email with the tracking number you get within about 5 days of ordering), to claim back your loss. Again, should this happen, we can either refund you in full or send out a replacement, whichever you prefer. This will also happen as soon as humanly possible (allowing for the grinding gears of international banking, their weekends and holidays, etc), and again, certainly within 30 days of making an agreement between you and us about how to proceed.
Again, because of the print-on-demand nature of how we do things here, it’s not always possible to cancel your order, especially if a few days have already passed. If you really must cancel, and the parcel has not yet been shipped, I will try my best to get it redirected to me, and suck up the loss, within reason. But please be aware that by cancelling an order that can’t rightly be cancelled, it means I probably won’t be able to buy basic necessities in my life for a time just because you had a change of heart, so somebody on your end better be dead or something. It is wise to assume, therefore, that your order will not be able to be cancelled in most instances (In practice, you will have to notify me at firstname.lastname@example.org almost as soon as you place the order, because I’m pretty efficient, and try to get things made and shipped as quickly as possible. This works perfectly well for things like “Ermagarrrd! I ordered an XS, I meant to order and XL!” or “I just saw on the order confirmation email that I ordered a different colour than I wanted!”. That’s ok, stuff like that happens, but if it’s not the same day, I reserve the right to receive your reasons for the proposed cancellation, and decide whether or not it will make me or my animals suffer unduly).
If you’re in doubt about buying, and likely to change your mind, we recommend that you sign into the website and create a wish list. Then, go away and have a think about it, and come back later and review the things in your wish list, and take it from there. I do understand that in, say, an inebriated state, you thought it was a cool idea to order a bunch of stuff, but on sobering up, you realise it wasn’t such a great idea after all since you have that rent thing to pay too, but you also need to understand that I’m not Jeff Bezos. I’m a musician who lives on very little money, and I can’t always absorb the results of your impetuous life decisions. This stuff exists to support me, and to bring a different kind of cheer into your life and the lives around you. If people cancel orders, I lose out on everything and suffer, which defeats the whole point of it all. In short, I can’t promise a refund on orders that have already been forwarded to the workshop. If you do indulge in drunken bad-decision buying, maybe leave a note in your order saying something like “I’m drunk, and this stuff is awesome!” If I get a note like that with your order, I can delay placing the order with the workshop until I check back with you after your bender. It is reasonable to assume that you are in your right mind at the time of purchase. If you’re not, that’s on you, and shouldn’t become my burden.
Put more simply, I’m a human, not a Corporate Entity. I will do everything I can to stop unwanted consequences of impulse buying on my site, but the responsibility for your actions ultimately must lie with you.
Bulk Orders or Special Requests
Because all items are print-on-demand, there's no minimum or maximum order. If you want 1,000 eyeball coasters for your wedding, that's totally possible (and we think, totally awesome!!)! Please contact us to discuss special requirements, bespoke designs, bulk order and drop shipping rates, etc.
We sincerely hope that you will enjoy your purchases with all your heart. Thank you for your support!