People ask me what my life is like as an "indie artist". If they kind of know what I do, they sometimes ask me how I do so much of it, how I manage not to get disheartened, how I keep writing, having new ideas, or whatever.
If they have no idea about my activities, knowing that I only really leave the house about once a month to go and buy in food supplies, they ask me “What do you do all day?”
If they get surprised by something I say in passing (such as, “Oh, I’m working on my 8th album release. It's called "Let There Be Light" and I'm working on the album cover now so I can deliver it to the aggregator. I'm also slowly putting more stuff in my shop… I have about 900 more items to go and then it’ll all be in there.”), they might ignore it as so much incomprehensible nonsense, or it might dawn on them what I mean, and then they ask me “How do you find the time to do so much?” But it’s usually in that tone that makes you feel like they think you’re lying, and actually you’re just chilling on the couch doing nothing at all. After all…. you’re taking time to talk to them, aren’t you? You never seem busy... And it's not like they're going to actually go and see everything you've been doing. That's a lot of work for them, after all, and they have lives of their own....
So, in the minds of people who know me, on the one hand, I’m a do-nothing layabout who rarely dresses. On the other hand, I’m a demon-genius of endless production, but no one can figure out how that happens, because whenever anyone drops by or contacts me, I make time to at least talk to them and find out what they need, maybe talk them through some crisis or just shoot the shit and catch up.
It’s actually kind of interesting how people assume that you have literally nothing else you’re doing if you stop and make time for them, just because. They assume that if you're talking to them without wanting to get something out of them, free of ulterior motives (if they even believe such people exist anymore), you must be some kind of mentally-deficient idiot with absolutely nothing else going on in your life at all. And it's pretty sad that they think that way, if you think about it.
Incidentally, I've been releasing albums for about a year and a half now. And designing clothing and other stuff for about 6 months, I think, more or less. It's still very early days for both those things, and I’m pretty sure *most* of my friends and acquaintances still have no idea what I actually do. Most of them haven’t heard any of the songs, haven’t realised they’re my own, and don’t know that these weird albums and designs and clothing items I keep posting up in my personal newsfeeds are all mine. They haven't got the time to realise it, and there’s maybe some mental block that just doesn’t want to know. And you know, I’ll share this stuff to them because, after all, these are people I actually know or have some connection to in my "real life", but I don’t push it. I don't beg my acquaintances to start buying stuff or listening to stuff they have no real ear for or aesthetic attraction to, and that's actually a failing on my part in this day and age. That’s an outdated style of personal integrity I just can’t bring myself to break through. The idea of “networking” still reeks of Amway and other assorted pyramid scams (oops, sorry… “MLM solutions”) to me. I’m old-fashioned like that. I also understand that what I do is a full-on onslaught of, well, me. And I accept that that's a pretty weird pill to swallow, even in pretty small doses.